20 differences between weekends before and after children

Family life

1. Before children: Head straight to the pub after work for happy hour cocktails.

After children: Head straight to Starbucks after school for a treat (for you, not them).

 

2. Before children: Ushering your colleagues to the nearest gastro-pub for some food at about 8pm before the girl from accounts gets so drunk she starts crying over her ex. Again.

After children: Ushering your children home for tea at 5.30pm before your little one gets so hungry they start crying because their sibling is sitting on their favourite toy. Again.

 

3. Before children: Going to bed as late as you like because you haven’t got to get up for work tomorrow.

After children: Going to bed at your usual time because your children don’t understand the concept of weekend lie-ins.

 

4. Before children: Getting in at 5.30am and thinking “Wow, what a late night”.

After children: Getting woken up at 5.30am and thinking “Seriously?! It’s. So. Early.”

 

5. Before children: Forgetting to clean your teeth because it’s late and you don’t have the energy.

After children: Battling for half an hour with your children to clean their teeth even though you don’t have the energy.

 

6. Before children: Having a lie-in until 11am noon and feeling amazing.

After children: Having a lie-in until 7.25am and feeling amazing.

 

7. Before children: Lying on the sofa in your pyjamas watching the Hollyoaks omnibus.

After children: Leaving the house earlier than you usually do in the week so you can get to rugby/swimming/ballet class.

 

8. Before children: Cheering on your favourite sports team, pint in hand, in your local boozer.

After children: Cheering on your child’s sports team, Thermos flask of instant coffee in hand, in your local park.

 

9. Before children: Bump into friends you haven’t seen for ages at the newest must-go-to bar.

After children: Bump into friends you haven’t seen for ages with their children at the newest softplay.

 

10. Before children: Go to parties in really cool bars where people down drinks when they lose at drinking games.

After children: Go to parties in local community halls where children cry when they lose at party games.

 

11. Before children: Date night at the cinema, arguing over whether to watch a rom-com or an action film.

After children: 10am showing of latest animated adventure, arguing because they want pick’n’mix and you’ve brought carrot and cucumber sticks.

 

12. Before children: A relaxing spa day with your friends or perhaps an all-day shopping trip because you think you have nothing to wear.

After children: A relaxing trip to the supermarket on your own, with hubby minding the kids, grabbing a new top or two while you’re there because you really have nothing to wear.

 

13. Before children: Getting to the spa and realising you still have a stamp on your hand from the really cool bar you went to last night.

After children: Getting to the supermarket, kids-free, and realising you still have baby sick on your shoulder and a Disney sticker on your back.

 

14. Before children: Mid-way through the spa or shopping trip, start singing your favourite new pop song out loud without realising.

After children: Mid-way through the check-out, start singing your child’s favourite TV show theme song without realising.

 

15. Before children: Organising an impromptu night out with your best friends and all being in the pub 30 minutes later.

After children: Organising a night out with your best friends and realising the next night you can all make is a month away due to your partners’ schedules not corresponding for childcare duties.

 

16. Before children: Organising a night out with your friends and their partners and all being in the pub 30 minutes later.

After children: Organising a night out with your friends and their partners and realising the next night you can all do is six months later due to failure to coordinate babysitters.

 

17. Before children: Going for a romantic meal with your other half and spontaneously heading to town for a night of dancing.

After children: Going for a romantic meal with your other half and rushing the waiter for the bill because you have to get back for the babysitter.

 

18. Before children: Sunday carvery to cure a hangover with your mates at your local pub.

After children: Sunday lunch with your parents because they want to see their grandkids. Not you.

 

19. Before children: Ignoring the housework at the weekend because you’ve not seen your other half all week and you want to spend time together.

After children: Blasting through the housework at the weekend because your other half has been at work all week and now he’s home, he can watch the children while you get it done.

 

20. Before children: Getting a takeaway and watching a film to cure the Sunday night blues because it’s back to work tomorrow.

After children: Ironing school uniforms/finding sports kits/finishing off craft projects gives you the Sunday night blues because even though weekends are nothing like they used to be, you’ll miss the little darlings really when they’re back at school all week.

 

How have your weekends changed since having children? What would you add to the list?

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10 Comments to 20 differences between weekends before and after children

  1. Oh my gosh, this is so true!!! Me and my hubby always reminisce about the old days when we’d stay up til the early hours watching films and then not getting out of bed til midday. Nowadays I’m lucky if I make it through a half hour programme in the evenings without falling asleep and these days, a lie in is 7am!! xx

  2. I think it’s the sleep I miss more than anything plus I’m developing an allergy to soft play centres. They all seems so grubby! I’ve always been a complete lightweight when it comes to drinking but lately I can’t even manage a glass in the evening without a headache the next morning.

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