30 things about organising a night out with your mummy friends
Maybe they’re your antenatal friends or maybe you met them in baby music class, or perhaps you bonded at the school gates while you waited for your children. For a few months you socialise with children in tow – and then someone suggests a night out. Brilliant, you think! And then it goes something like this.
- It takes you about a week of messages flying around Facebook or Whatsapp to find a date that everyone can do, due to conflicting schedules of other halves/baby sitters. The first date you can all do is in a month’s time.
- And then a few days later, someone messages to say they can longer make it as their other half now has to go away with work. “Go ahead without me,” they say. “No, no,” you all say. “It won’t be the same without you. We can find another date.” And you do – but the nearest date you can do is another three weeks after your original date.
- You debate where to go. None of you get out much these days so you haven’t got a clue. You settle on a ‘nice meal somewhere’. You ask your child-free colleagues and friends for ideas and keep your fingers crossed the places they suggest aren’t too loud or full of young people.
- You panic about what to wear. Your friends have only ever seen you in snot-smeared jeans, jumpers and flats. You laugh as you remember the pre-child you stood in front of a wardrobe full of clothes moaning about how she had nothing to wear – because now you actually have nothing to wear. Or at least nothing that fits post-child you.
- If this is a repeat mummys’ night out, you wonder if your friends will remember you are wearing the same as last time and vow to take yourself shopping pronto.
- On the night itself, your kids will play up at tea and bed time. Your baby won’t settle and your other half will text you to say they will be home from work later than usual. By the time your kids are in bed and your partner is home, the last thing you’ll want to do is go out. “Would it be awful to curl up on the settee in my pyjamas and say I’m too tired?” part of you will say. “Of course it’d be awful!” your conscience says. “Now move it and get ready to go!”
- You’ll get ready in five minutes flat, tiptoeing around so as not to wake the children. You’ll think to yourself how different this is to pre-child days when preparation for a night out involved a leisurely bath or shower, blow drying your hair to perfection, and trying on about 25 different outfits.
- You’ll use a wet wipe to get rid of a food stain on your favourite jeans. If you have older kids who aren’t in bed before you go out, they will give you a big hug and leave snot marks on your going out top. Or run off with your make-up.
- If you’re breastfeeding, you’ll be feeding baby as you’re getting changed. You’ll swap your nursing bra for a proper one, triple checking you remembered your breast pads and there’s been no leakage on your going out top, and spend ages surprised at what a difference a normal bra makes to your figure.
- Dangly earrings! And chunky necklaces! Oh, how I’ve missed you!
- You’ll wear your biggest heels but only because you know you’re sitting down all night.
- You’ve spent all week debating with your mum friends whether to drive or share taxis and have a couple of drinks. Eventually the shared taxis wins.
- You leave a list of instructions for your other half. Steriliser/school bags/tidy away the toys/hang out the washing/empty the dishwasher. You know he’ll spend the night sat in front of the telly though, oblivious to the mess around him.
- You go to grab the change bag before leaving the house, before realising you don’t actually need it. How liberating to go out with a tiny handbag!
- You get to the venue at 8pm because that’s the earliest anyone can make it now you all have kids.
- You’re all starving because you usually eat with your children at 5.30pm. Or you’re full up because you finished your children’s leftovers because you know you’d never last until 8pm otherwise.
- The waiter/waitress gives you your menu – but you don’t order for another half hour because you’re all too busy chatting to look at the food choices.
- You sneakily check your phone every few minutes in case there’s been an emergency at home and can’t decide if you’re happy or put-out that everyone is surviving without you.
- You think nothing of talking about explosive nappies and vomitting babies while eating – until you clock a young couple looking at you in disgust.
- That one glass of wine has really gone to your head. You’re such a lightweight these days.
- But that’s good because the conversation has suddenly changed from babies to gossip/sex – and you realise that you do have more in common with these ladies than just the fact your children are the same age. It’s nice to be “non-mum-me” again, you think.
- You decide on another bottle of wine to celebrate the fact you’re actually out in public after 7pm!
- Before you know it, it’s 11pm and someone has started yawning. You joke about how 11pm is a really late night these days.
- When paying the bill, someone pulls a toy car/half eaten rice cake out of their handbag instead of their purse.
- You get home and feel like a teenager as you tip-toe around the house trying not to wake the children – or your other half, who’s crashed out in bed.
- That extra glass of wine means you fall straight to sleep… until some time in the wee hours when you are kindly awaken by your offspring. Your partner is either deeply sleeping or pretending. Urgh, this is not good! Back to bed.
- You are woken at 6am by a small child jumping on your head and your other half reminding you he needs to leave super early today to get to a meeting. Your head hurts. Your baby is crying. Loudly. Or your kids are fighting. Loudly. You can’t believe what a lightweight you are these days.
- Your realise other half hasn’t done any of the things he was supposed to do last night. You move around the kitchen in a trance, trying to get things done.
- You let your kids get away with just about anything today. Non-stop TV, sweet treats… whatever it takes to get through the day.
- Thank goodness for Facebook though, you think. You and your mummy friends spend half the day messaging each other about what a great time you had and how lovely it is to socialise without the children. “We must do it again soon,” you all agree. “Next time we should go out into town,” someone says.
But that’s a whole other blog post!
Does any of this sound familiar? Now go share with your mummy friends and tell them it’s time you organised another night out. In the mean time, do come keep me company on the Cardiff Mummy Says Facebook page or tweet me on @cardiffmummy
Great post. Oh yes the joys of finding a free date to all meet up. So glad that everyone has that “should I just stay home on the sofa” fleeting thought before going out. So worth it in the end though! I can’t wait for the “town” post! 😉 I went out at the weekend wanting a dance but the music wasn’t up to much! x
Oh my we rarely get past stage 1 or 2… but you are right, afterwards it feels so good to share the Facebook love 🙂 and oh yessss chunky necklaces and dangly earrings, oh yessss! x
This is so funny and so true. I was having a conversation with a mummy friend about exactly all these things this week as we are trying to plan a night out. Points 1-4 have definetley already happened lol x
This is EXACTLY what it’s like every time I go out with the NCT girls! Always 8pm, always checking phone, always chat chat chat berore ordering and always one more bottle of wine!!!!