Seven ridiculous things I count as me-time now I’m a mum
Remember when me-time used to mean curling up on the settee on a Sunday afternoon and watching a chick flick or three with a box of chocolates? Or binge reading a novel in a day? Or using your lunch break from work to sit in a coffee shop on your own for an hour? Or even just daydreaming. Oh, how times have changed. Since having children I have used the phrase me-time to refer to all of the below activities. Who am I kidding?! People without children would never class any of the below as me-time. I’m doing a massive disservice to myself by calling the me time – but it’s amazing how your perspective changes when you become a parent.
1. An uninterrupted shower
This doesn’t happen very often. Baby Boy I, my 18 month old third child, is usually trying to throw toys into the bath or climb into the toilet. One of the other two will come in to use the loo, or to tell tales on something the other one has done. Even though Cardiff Daddy is in the room with them, they still feel the need to tell me. But some days I get to stand under the hot, running water with my eyes closed for the entire time, and it is bliss!
2. Going to the toilet on my own
Oh, this really is the Holy Grail of motherhood! With three children aged five and under, I rarely get to pee in peace during the day. Toilet trips as a parent are never without a drama so the occasions I actually do get to go on my own are such a treat. Bonus marks if you’re out with your kids and a friend offers to watch the children for you while you go to the loo, and you escape without any little people following you. Yes, I live in a world where natural bodily functions count as me-time!
3. Doing the weekly shop with no children
I generally do our food shop with at least two children in tow. I want them to understand that food doesn’t just magically appear in the cupboards. I want them to understand how to choose a balanced diet. I want them to know how we wait our turn to pay for our food. But sometimes, I don’t want my baby shrieking at me because he’s seen me put grapes in the trolley and he can’t have them right away. Sometimes, I want to take my time and look at the clothes or books while I’m doing my weekly shop. Sometimes I don’t want any pester-power asking me to buy things I don’t want to be buying. After spending all week looking after my children, sometimes I just want to get out of the house, be by myself and get lost in my own thoughts as I wander around the shop. But often I feel too guilty to say I need some time just for me, so I’ll say I need to do the food shop and secretly whoop at the bonus me-time. Even though deep down Cardiff Daddy would never, ever refer to the weekly shop as me-time. It’s a household chore, for goodness sake!
4. Getting Cardiff Daddy to take all the children out so I can blitz the cleaning
It can be so difficult to keep on top of the housework when you’ve got small children, can’t it? Cardiff Daddy does his fair share, but he works long hours, so most of falls to me. I do what I can, but mostly as I’m cleaning one room, they’re trashing another. And I’d much rather play with my children than do the vacuuming, to be honest. But sometimes the mess gets too much and I’ll send hubby and kids out for a couple of hours while I blitz the cleaning. With my choice of music playing loudly and no one to moan at me for singing at the top of my voice! And a sneaky 10 minutes in the middle to catch up on Facebook! Me-time and a tidy house! Win-win! Even though, yet again, THIS IS NOT ME-TIME!
5. When my baby falls asleep in the car and we stay put while he naps
Baby I has a lunch-time nap. The problem is, the time he naps is also the time I take Little Man O, my newly-turned-four-year-old, to pre-school. Sometimes Baby is so tired he can’t wait until we get home and he falls asleep in the car. I’ve discovered the hard way that if I try to transfer him to his cot, he will wake up and not go back to sleep. And he really needs that sleep! So, instead, we stay in the car, parked outside our house, while he sleeps and I catch up on Facebook, read the day’s news, message my friends, etc. Usually if we’re in the house and he’s asleep, I am catching up on work or housework. But I can’t do that when we’re in the car. What a shame!
6. When I just have to take one child to a birthday party and there’s an entertainer, meaning I can natter with the other mums for a whole two hours!
There was a time when most of the birthday parties my children went to were friends’ children – so we’d all get an invite and I’d spend two crazy hours running round after the three of them. Now, however, my big two go to a lot of parties of their school and pre-school friends where siblings are not invited. And a lot of these parties have entertainers who take control of the kids for two hours, meaning we parents can sit and natter and I don’t have a toddler to chase around after, either. Who ever would have thought a child’s party could be me-time?!
7. When all my children are quietly engrossed in a TV show
We don’t watch that much television to be honest. But there are days when CBeebies and Nick Jr are my best friends. One minute, Little Miss E and Little Man O will be squabbling over something, tired after a long week at school, or all the toys will be thrown all over the floor and I can’t take any more mess. And so, the telly will go on, and…. silence! Aaahhhh! Baby I is not always great at sitting still for very long, so this never lasts too long. But the few minutes when all three of them are still and quiet, and I can sit down and relax, are so precious.
Like I said, my pre-child self would be cursing me for calling any of this me-time. But the mummy-me knows that you’ve just got to grab these sanity-saving moneys when you can.
Can you relate? Do you class any of these things as me-time, even though they’re not really me-time at all? Any you’d add to the list? Let me know what you think either in the comments section below, on the Cardiff Mummy Says Facebook page or you can tweet me on @cardiffmummy
photo credit: Supermarket via photopin (license)
Yep I can relate to each and every one! I’m going to London on Friday without the kids. The thing I’m most looking forward to? Three hours on a train by myself with my book…sad but true! x
1 and 2 definitely! Sitting on the tube with a book (as there’s no WiFi I can use to work is even me time now…)
Haha totally relate to this especially the doing the food shop on your own. I absolutely love that. I too also sit in the car if eva ever falls asleep lol. I also consider a bath on my own like a holiday x
Yup all of these! Particularly going to the toilet. I also feel resentful towards my husband if I’m stuck with the kids and I know he’s looking at Facebook whilst on the toilet!!
It’s crazy isn’t it? Cleaning is definitely not me time but I’m the same … We’ve got to grab the time when we can! I’m with you in sitting outside the house in the car … It became standard when I was off work, but I never knew how long I could stay before my neighbours started to think I was a bit odd!
Ha, all so true, I wrote a post about this very subject when Tibbs was about the same age, it’s peak time for having no me time isn’t it? That axis of just walking but with no purpose other than to seek and destroy, I think! So true about cleaning….even though we have a cleaner I still enjoy it!
All of them are so true! I have to add the luxury of eating your dinner in peace and quiet too. I always seem to have to stop after one mouthful to deal with a toddler who thinks mashed potato is good for decorating the table or that what I have to eat looks a lot better than theirs even though it is the same thing.
Yes!!! Sometimes I pretend that I have a bad stomach and head to the loo where I spend 15 minutes reading Facebook and thinking about the meaning of life.
My husband thinks I have IBS…and it’s to my advantage that he does! I’m going to start storing snacks in the bathroom cabinet and then it’ll be just perfect!x
Haha all so true! I also love going out without a buggy, I almost run to the stairs/escalator as it is such a rare treat haha x
This is so unbelievably true. I LOVE cleaning an empty house! AND shopping alone! And sitting in a car with a sleeping baby! YES YES YES!
#realtalk. Me and my other half used to argue over who runs out to pick stuff up from the supermarket and now we jump at the chance. Squeezing fruit, smelling shampoo – bliss.
Oh I completely agree with all of this!! I love peeing by myself. And I put mickey mouse on so that I can have an uninterupted shower, but I only have Oliver who is almost 3. Drinking a whole hot cup of tea in peace is like I’m living the dream. #brilliantblogposts
Oh I totally get this. I haven’t had any time to myself since having my youngest. She’s 16 months now. That’s a long time to be a slave to two short, bad tempered people and a husband. I was invited to a blogging do where I need to stay overnight and I can’t take the kids. I nearly bit her arm off. I can’t wait!
I had my wisdom teeth out last month and got to spend a whole day in bed. Okay I was in agony and wanted to tear my own face off, but you can’t knock a bit of me time! I will be doing the housework blitz me time this weekend. Is it sad that I am looking forward to it?! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Haha, yes, very true. I think of many of these as ‘me’ time nowadays! #fridayfrolics
I can definitely relate to this, I sometimes double up the food shop as a Saturday night out too, no one is there as they are obviously out getting drunk, it’s great. #FridayFrolics
Not sure when cleaning became me time but it is you’re so right #fridayfrolics xx
Oh I hear ya! I do my shopping online but only because I can’t drive. If I could drive I would actually look forward to ther weekly shop because at least it would get me out of the house for an hour and that would be my ‘me time’ 😉
Oh yes. My husband finished work early and offered to take the children outside so I could tidy up in peace …I was so grateful that I cried.
What have I become? #fridayfrolics
Ha ha, definitely relate to these – particularly cleaning. Definitely didn’t think an hour or two alone with a bucket of cleaning products would ever be something I’d think of as time out, but I actually grew to really look forward to sticking on some loud music and getting the house in order!
I agree. Also in this category are solo trips to the doctors, especially when they’re running late and I get to sit and read a book while I wait. Also on days when another adult is around and I get to walk up to school alone.
Ha ha the bit about the birthday party. Hilarious. I must admit being the world’s most selfish mum I got me time very early on but little by little it eroded away. I do remember thinking supermarket trips counted as me time though. We simply can’t understand how lucky we are in that sense before motherhood hits. I miss reading the Sunday papers. Eventually had to stop buying them a while back as they just got binned without being read!
Oh, Sunday papers! Same here, we stopped buying them in the end because we would never get round to reading them! x
The ironing! Completely not “me time”, but I count it as such because I get to commandeer the TV and watch a couple of hours worth of shows. How ridiculous?!