I’d like to begin this article by saying my children are not continually glued to the box, despite what the heading might suggest.
In fact, they can go for several days at a time without the telly being on at all. But – and this is a big but – as a home-based mum of three children all born in just over four years and all under six, and with self-employment continually keeping me busy, there are days when children’s television is my absolute saviour.
Some days, putting the box on is the easiest way for me to get things done around the house. Some days my eldest two are fighting and winding each other up so much, that the TV goes on and calm is once more restored. So, even though we don’t watch a lot of TV, by virtue of being a mum for almost six years, I have certainly viewed my fair share of programmes for little people. I’m sure most of you reading this have too.
And when you’ve watched that much television, it’s hard for it not to seep into your subconscious and become part of your every day life. This post is for you if you’ve ever found yourself quoting phrases from your child’s favourite programme out in public, have a crush on a cartoon character, or would feel no shame in asking a CBeebies presenter for their autograph and a selfie if you saw them out in public!
- When someone says “What time is it?” you burst into the Bubble Guppies song, “It’s time for lunch.”
- And when someone says the word “outside”, you have a song for that too. “Outside, outside, everybody outside, line up.”
- Whenever you see the word ‘dinosaur’ you instinctively think ‘dine-saur’ thanks to George in Peppa Pig.
- You know all the words to the Bing Bong Song (don’t even get me started on Peppa Pig… that’s a whole other blog post!).
- You have a secret crush on Mr Bloom/Mr Maker/Daddy Pig.
- You’ve played Marry, Snog, Avoid with children’s TV presenters on a mums’ night out.
- You get really frustrated that after all this time your children don’t realise Nanny Plum and Wise Old Elf from Ben and Holly are Miss Rabbit and Grandpa Pig From Peppa Pig in disguise.
- You feel cheated that Topsy and Tim aren’t twins in real life.
- You think their mum is a misrepresentation of motherhood because she is always so enthusiastic about everything, never loses her temper, and she and her house look so perfect all the time.
- (For those of you who live in South Wales) When someone says they’re from Ponty, you automatically presume they mean Pontypandy… thanks to Fireman Sam.
- You’ve googled to see if the theory that Norman Price is Fireman Sam’s secret love child is true.
- You’ve excitedly bought your child an item of clothing with their favourite TV character on it.
- You’re genuinely thrilled when an episode of your child’s favourite show comes on that you’ve never seen before.
- You feel a pang of envy when one of your friends posts a selfie on Facebook of the time they met Dr Ranj.
- You’ve debated various theories with your friends as to what In The Night Garden is really about. Is Iggle Piggle really dead??!
- You absent-mindedly sing children’s TV shows to yourself in the same way you used to sing pop songs.
- You know children’s television can be educational because you’ve learnt something new from it yourself.
- In fact, you now consider yourself semi-fluent in Spanish thanks to Dora and her friends and are a whizz at Makaton sign language thanks to Justin Fletcher.
- You know at least 20 different types of dinosaurs thanks to Andy’s Dinosaur Adventures and Dinosaur Train.
- You’ve wondered whether the CBeebies presenters ever go out for happy hour drinks and rock up to work the next day with a stinking hangover.
- You sit down at the end of the day once your kids are in bed, put the TV on, and it’s a good five minutes before you realise you’re watching Nick Jr.
- You type in the channel number of your default favourite channel… the TV changes to Cbeebies… and you realise you can no longer remember what numbers you need for the grown-up channels.
- You genuinely wonder how your own parents got through life without 24-hour on-demand children’s TV.
Can you relate to any of these on my list of 23 signs you’ve watched too much children’s television? What would you add? Do let me know on the Cardiff Mummy Says Facebook page, by tweeting me on @cardiffmummy or in the comments section below.
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You might also like this post: 21 things I don’t understand about Peppa Pig